Can a marriage with your affair partner last?

Can an affair lead to a successful marriage? Is it possible for a couple who got together through an affair to build a long-lasting relationship?

Many of the clients that I see in my practice are couples who have been devastated by an affair. I help them to work through the fallout from the affair, and either repair their marriage and rebuild trust and stability, or work towards a ‘peaceful’ divorce.

Although there is really no such thing as a ‘peaceful’ divorce, I do believe in ensuring that each person in the relationship leaves the marriage with a greater understanding of themselves, what led to the divorce, and how they can rebuild their self-esteem and confidence in the future. I try to ensure that as little baggage as possible is taken with them into their future relationships.

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Seven Steps You Can Take To End An Affair

You’ve suspected for a while that something is not right between you and your spouse. Maybe they were spending lots of extra hours “at work” but there was no overtime on their paycheck. Maybe they completely changed their music, hairstyle, or clothing choices to something appropriate for someone decades younger. Maybe they were chatting or texting all the time and then deleted everything so you couldn’t see it.

Whatever the reasons, you had a sneaking suspicion something wasn’t right…

If you suspect your spouse is having an affair or is being emotionally unfaithful, do not despair. An affair does not have to mean the end of your marriage. In fact, consider this:

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How to End an Affair with Someone You Love

You are not quite sure how you got yourself into the affair, and even less sure about how to get out of it.

You love your paramour but hate the sneaking and cheating. You vacillate between ending the forbidden relationship and giving yourself totally to it. You feel intense emotions for your lover, but even as you tell yourself…or your lover…that everything is going to be wonderful, deep within a small voice says that it will not be.

When together with your lover, you feel an amazing blending of ecstasy and peace.

When alone, you feel guilt-ridden. Sadness and shame surface sporadically because you have not defeated your feelings of guilt about what you are doing. Instead, your own morality and integrity have tunneled deep inside you to war with your soul.

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The Evolution of Love

Songs have been saying it for generations together. Ask anyone what the world needs and the one answer you would get is-” love”. We need love at all times. It is the basis of all our relationships in one form or the other. Despite knowing and understanding the need for it, we haven’t been able to understand it well enough. It has evoluted and here is its story.

Everybody’s saying that love can change the world but no one really knows what it is.
Some have had enough, some have had so much and they won’t let anyone else go without it
But behind it all, someone’s got to take all the pain involved.
Some of them give it away with a price but they don’t attach the price tag.
Some of them give it away because they’ve never seen a loveless world and they don’t want to see one because they know the pain that it would cause.
Nobody states their case before they give it away.
If they did it wouldn’t be called love.
But everyone follows up when they’ve given enough or when they want their due.
Since it’s done in the name of love, they stop giving if they can’t get and taking if they can’t give it back.
But behind it all, someone’s got to take all the pain involved.
Some of them give up on trying prefer to do with what they have
because its never ended in a pretty scene.
Some of them only if they really need it all that bad but only as much as they need since they can also manage without it.

You decide on which side you are on-whether you have stopped giving if you can’t get or if you have stopped taking if you can’t give back. Maybe you find yourself on one side some time or the other. You may also find yourself in the middle- fighting to make people believe that love doesn’t have to hurt. It too has its price that has to be paid. You have to understand that nothing comes free and if love has to have a beneficiary then someone from either side has to pay what it costs regardless whether he/she can afford it or not. Payment can be in the form of time, money or even petrol. But there is a thing such as perfect love embodied as follows……………

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